June 26, 2008

• 	The Desires of My Heart by Elisabeth Elliot I had been praying for something I wanted very badly. It seemed a good thing to have, a thing that would make life even more pleasant than it is, and would not in any way hinder my work. God did not give it to me. Why? I do not know all of his reasons, of course. The God who orchestrates the universe has a good many things to consider that have not occurred to me, and it is well that I leave them to Him. But one thing I do understand: He offers me holiness at the price of relinquishing my own will. "Do you honestly want to know Me?" He asks. I answer yes. "Then do what I say," He replies. "Do it when you understand it; do it when you don't understand it. Take what I give you; be willing not to have what I do not give you. The very relinquishment of this thing that you so urgently desire is a true demonstration of the sincerity of your lifelong prayer: Thy will be done. So instead of hammering on heaven's door for something which it is now quite clear God does not want me to have, I make my desire an offering. The longed-for thing is material for sacrifice. Here, Lord, it's yours. He will, I believe, accept the offering. He will transform it into something redemptive. He may perhaps give it back as He did Isaac to Abraham, but He will know that I fully intend to obey Him.

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  Content from All That Was Ever Ours, Keep a Quiet Heart and Love Has a Price Tag.

  
  

  How many times has this happened in your life?
  About a year ago it happened to me big time.  There was a home right down the road from us that I loved since the day I saw it.  I would pray about it and hope that if it ever went up for sale we'd be able to buy it.  For 21 years I would pass it and imagine living there, exploring the grounds and eating the water cress that grew in the springs.  Well, we got word that it was indeed going up for sale by only the second person to ever live in it.  They had lived there since the 1950's.  It is an old stone colonial type home with the neatest dormers on the third floor.  It over looks a meadow and a babbling creek from on top of a hill.  We were able to go look at it with the son of the woman who owned it.  She was living with her daughter and wanted to sell the home and the property.  The property had been, for all these years, protected from developers as it was deemed farm land.  She received a tax break for that agreement to keep it the way it was.  I know all that has a name but it escapes me at present. 
  When I walked in the door I just knew I was home.  The whole house was me.  I loved it instantly.  It was so clean and beautiful and old but very well maintained.   We toured it all and the grounds and then we asked the price.  *swallows hard*   Okay...well...if we all went to work we would be able to pay that mortgage.  It was not outrageous but it was more than we could swing in our one income home.   We offered a lower price but they never accepted that....it was very reasonable...but no answer.   All of us working was not an option.  Dad and son work and we keepers at home take care of the fort and the men.  We knew the Lord was not calling us to compromise our convictions for this house.  I wept for a long time....many many days.  I try not to drive by it anymore.  But one day I did and I saw a new family up there.  I was happy for them and their children and all the exploring they will be able to do.   It even had the neatest boxwood fort type of thing.  It still hurts but I had to offer it back to the Lord as a sacrifice and am content in that.  He knows me best and he knows best.  I will just trust in that.  I'd rather be in HIS hands than anywhere else. 
  

  
  

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