October 5, 2007

• Finding a good man…..

  Hmmmmm…let me rephrase that!   Hoping a good man finds you…. 
  I need to really rethink things sometimes since I grew up in the
  “liberated” 60’s and 70’s….

  I am not a feminist…at all…no way…no how…. but those
  ingrained viewpoints from my past creep back in there sometimes.   
  

  Now getting back to this good man stuff.  Well…my husband and I celebrated 21 years
  together this past week and let me tell you…I have a good man.  He is not perfect and neither am I.  Wouldn’t that be a hard thing to deal with
  if either of us were???   

  He tried to take off on October first which is our day,
  but someone else got to it first at work. 
  So he took off today(Friday) and tomorrow(Saturday). 
  We were going to go away over night somewhere…ocean like I had hoped…but
  unfortunately finances did not allow it. 
  But we had a really good day today just palling around.  We went out for lunch and then did some
  impromptu stops to look at antiques and stuff. 
  We even stopped at a friend’s yard sale.  I am so glad we did as she had a framed poem that I have been
  looking for for a long time.  It cracked
  me up so much when I saw it years ago at an antique shop.  Back then, my family went back to buy it for me for my
  birthday but it was gone.  

  I am not sure if the poem is meant to be serious but it
  really had me right up until the end and then after I caught my breath I just
  lost it.  I am not sure if it was the
  picture attached (Whistler’s Mother) or my own childhood…so I mean no offense and I have no idea
  who wrote this poem/prose.  This version
  that I bought at the yard sale today is the poem in an 18X15 inch frame and the print is the colors used in the
  20’s with a pink rose up by the title…pretty fancy…and really will be pretty
  reframed.  I got it for $1.00.

  Anyway here is the poem with Whistler’s Mother just as I
  saw it so many years ago.

   

   

   

  Mother

  It is a
  wonderful thing,

  A
  mother;

  other
  folks can love you,

  but only
  your mother understands.
   

  She works
  for you,

  looks after
  you, loves you,

  forgives
  you anything you may do,

  understands
  you,

  and then
  the only thing sad she

  ever
  does to you

  is to
  die and leave you.
   

  So what do you think?  
  My mother died when I was 15…it was a tough time.  So maybe this is more poignant to me because
  of that.   I don’t mean to be morbid or
  unfeeling or anything like that…it’s just that the whole last line caught me
  off guard and made me laugh. I tried to research
  the author to no avail and both times I have seen it printed there has been no author stated.

  So let’s get back to my good man.  (There is always a bunny trial isn’t there?)

  D. has a servant’s heart and he has always been such a good
  sport about doing things for me without ever complaining.  That makes it a little tough on me because I
  have to be so careful not to take advantage of him.  He draws the line sometimes and that keeps me in check.

  He has his own business with his two brothers and works
  long hours every day but Sunday.  He’s
  been pretty adamant about staying closed on Sunday.  So far so good.

  He is a hard worker…never lazy.  Over the years he has attempted to make various things for the
  kids or me.  He has built us sandboxes
  and doghouses, shelves and sheds and fences.  He
  sells paint at his store…. thank goodness because he knows that if I pick a
  color and he paints the room, I will end up not liking that first color.  Oh I try so hard not to do that to him…but
  it has become a big joke around here now. 
  I must admit, much to his skepticism, that with this last painting
  project I loved the first color.  Twice
  in a row this has happened.  I am really
  trying to be sure the first time. 

  Oh I just love him! 
  And fortunately he loves me too! 
  

  He has learned to expect the unexpected from me.  There is never a  dull moment with me.

  We met at a local theatre.  He was the bass player in the band of a musical and I was an
  onstage props person in that show.
  We actually got together permanently a few shows
  later.  Our journey has been pretty
  tough at times, financial, health, opposition to our faith and home schooling
  and other trying obstacles. But we persevered and keep working on our
  relationship and growing and learning together.  The Lord has been so good to us in that way…ever faithful.
  

  One of my favorite authors is Edna Ferber and in one of
  her books entitled “So Big” she has a few lines that really struck me and hit
  home with me.  This is a great book by
  the way, especially for young men…. listen to your mommas and do not take the
  easy way out.   This selection from the book means a lot
  to me because my husband toughed it out. 
  He continues to.  We’ve had our
  hard times and I am sure there will still be more but he stuck with what he
  believed and keeps on keeping on.  He
  stayed firm in his faith and he has had to make some pretty tough decisions
  even lately and I could not be prouder of his integrity.

  “…Someday I’ll probably marry a horny-handed son of toil,
  and if I do it’ll be the horny hands that will win me.  There is something about a man who has
  fought for it-I don’t know what it is-a look in his eye-the feel of his hand.  He needn’t have been successful-though but
  he probably would be.  I don’t
  know.  I’m not very good at this
  analysis stuff. I only know he-well, you haven’t a mark on you.  Not a mark. 
  You quit being an architect, or whatever it was, because architecture
  was an uphill disheartening job at the time. I don’t say you should have kept
  on.  For all I know you were a bum
  architect. But if you had kept on-if you had loved it enough to keep
  on-fighting, and struggling, and sticking it out-why, that fight would show in your
  face today-in your eyes and your jaw and your hands and in your way of standing
  and walking and sitting and talking. 
  Listen. I am not criticizing you. But you’re all smooth. I like ‘em
  bumpy.”

  You know what I am saying here?   The book is really good and would certainly help with understanding
  the context here but I think you can get the gist of what I am trying to
  convey.   I am so glad I got me a real
  man.  For a long time I tried to get him
  to understand girly things…and got so frustrated because he was not tapping
  into his right side of the brain. 
     But then I reread Genesis
  and you know what….. men and women are way different.  Duh!!!  New
  revelation!!!  And they are supposed to
  be.  You know what???  Praise God they are!  Where logic and practicality are needed my D
  is there and where I can be snookered by some things…he is there again. I have found out that he is a whole lot wiser in many
  many matters.  Twice this week I told
  him about some situations I fell for and he pointed out how both of them were
  possible scams.   Us women really do
  need a protector.  Thankfully my
  protector asks my opinion on things and even takes my advice many times.  He is certainly not a dictator.  Oh this reminds me of a really good book I
  am just finishing.  Wow!!!  Was this ever an eye opener and oh so
  biblical.  The title and author is
  “Oops, I Forgot my Wife” by Doyle Roth. 
  I will attach it up top on this post. 
  This book really helped me to see areas of self-centeredness in my life….
  and how the key to a good marriage is selflessness.  There is no room for self-centeredness…. but it sure thinks there
  is room for it! 

  I am thinking this book would be an excellent read prior
  to marriage as well.  The sooner a couple
  realizes this the happier their marriage relationship will be.

  Well that’s about it for now.  Saturday, if all goes as planned, our bedroom will be painted or
  at least mostly painted.  It’s been a
  long time since it has been done and long over do.  Hopefully after the end of tomorrow I can look back and say this
  post still applies to us.  You know how
  easily disagreements can pop up especially during times of fixing up our
  homes! 

  Have a very blessed weekend!

  Susie

   

   

   

   

  • 10:26 pm
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